Rabbi Simcha Cohen
Sometimes wives conclude that their husband does not trust them with money, or consider him stingy.
He often asks his wife when she returns with shopping: How much did this cost? What can we do with it? Why do we need it? Why couldn't you buy it at a cheaper shop, even if it is further away? Couldn't the younger son wear the shoes his older brother has outgrown?
Or: Why do you cook so much? Why do we need all these salads that end up being thrown away? He asks these questions not because, as she thinks, he is stingy or distrustful, but for several other reasons: he does not know the exact prices, is unaware of the difficulties involved in traveling to a cheaper shop, and so on.
The main emotional reason, however, is his feeling that he must meet the family's financial needs. Because this is very difficult for him, he feels pressure, and the questions simply express that pressure.
This remains true even when the wife also contributes to the family's income, and even when she earns more than her husband.
Quite possibly, if the wife were as concerned about providing for the family as her husband and worried no less than he did, she too would refrain from many purchases he considers unnecessary.
The husband's advantage in concern for the family's livelihood does not arise from positive character traits he acquired through self-discipline, just as the wife's advantages as a partner do not result from her efforts to develop her personality. Both are gifts from the Almighty to each of the two sexes.