Rebbetzin Ruth Tsivyon
Excerpt from Rabbanit Ruth Tzivion's book “Mother's Home,” about the life of her mother, Rabbanit Batsheva Esther Kanievsky, of blessed memory
Mother (Rabbanit Batsheva Esther Kanievsky) did not leave a testament for Jewish women. Yet I think that, if she had, among other things she would certainly have written: “Pray! You have the ability to turn the world around with your voice, as it is said: ‘The voice is the voice of Jacob.’ Whatever you do, do not let this opportunity slip away!”
The power of prayer
Mother merited special help from Heaven. Many of her prayers were accepted and brought about miracles!
Once someone asked Mother: “Why aren't you storming the heavens for this Jew who is suffering so much?” Mother replied: “Believe me, I am doing everything I can, and the Almighty will surely help him.” That man found deliverance shortly after Mother's death.
“I understood what a powerful means prayer can be,” Mother once said, “from my father's example.”
This is what she told us:
“It happened when our family was going through very difficult times. Several tragedies followed one another. My brother Yitzchak died of pneumonia as an infant. My one-year-old sister Rivka was hit directly by a shell during the war of 5708 (1948). For several weeks she hovered between life and death, and eventually she died. At the same time, another of my sisters became seriously ill and was taken to hospital.
One day, while I was sitting by her hospital bed, I heard the doctor say that her condition was hopeless and her days were numbered. I kept my composure and recited Vidui with her. Then, after saying goodbye, I ran home to tell our parents the bitter news.
The situation was desperate, but it is said that ‘even if a sharp sword rests against a person's neck, that person must not stop asking for mercy’ (Berakhot 10a).
Father went into another room, stood facing the bookcase and began to pray fervently for his daughter's recovery. His prayer was accepted: my sister was no longer in danger, and she gradually recovered. The power of Father's prayer gave her another fifty years of life. That was how I learned how powerful prayer can be!”
Mother prayed a great deal from early childhood. As I mentioned earlier, when she was young she had to work as a school secretary to help her parents support the family. The school was not strictly Orthodox, so before leaving for work Mother would pray every time that she would not stumble or be influenced by her surroundings. Every morning she read the Tehillim assigned to that day!
Once an acquaintance told Mother about her difficulties raising her children and happened to add that she read the entire Book of Tehillim every day. Mother was kneading challah dough at the time. Hearing this, she left the dough, turned around and said: “The entire Book of Tehillim? Then you have nothing to worry about. Prayer is not the best means; it is the only means!”
Mother often repeated: “There is nothing in the world that cannot be achieved through prayer!”
“Have you prayed for her yet?”
Mother constantly reminded women that they should not rely solely on her prayers: each one of them had to pray herself!
Again and again she repeated that every person's every prayer has power and is accepted Above. Once a woman asked Mother to pray for an acquaintance. Before agreeing, Mother asked her: “Have you prayed for her yet?”
Mother told us about a woman with many children who worked outside the home yet managed to accomplish a great deal despite her heavy workload. “Her secret is prayer,” Mother explained. “She gets up early in the morning to pray, and her prayer shapes the whole day that follows.”
Many people told Mother about their troubles, problems and difficulties. To all of them she said the same thing: “Pray!”
When people approached her about finding a marriage partner, she would say: “A tried and tested means for a young woman to find her match is to pray three times a day.”
She explained it this way:
“In our time we do not have the connection with the Almighty that existed in the days of the Temple. The Creator wants us to feel close to Him, and the only way to attain that closeness is through prayer.”
Praying together
Mother prayed for those in need of deliverance not only during the three daily prayers. She used every auspicious moment, such as candle lighting and separating challah. (At candle lighting Mother prayed for about half an hour, then recited Kabbalat Shabbat, followed by the Song of Songs. During the day on Shabbat she read the entire Book of Tehillim. Mother said that Shabbat was meant for Tehillim and grandchildren…)
There were also occasions when urgent prayers were needed to save a life. A family was badly injured in a road accident, and Rabbi Eliyahu Broner of the Ezer Mizion organization visited them every day. He put them in touch with my parents, who warmly blessed them and continued to ask about their condition. One night Rabbi Broner told Mother that the health of several family members had deteriorated. She immediately gathered everyone at home: “All of you, without exception, leave what you are doing and begin reading Tehillim!” Thank God, every member of the family made a full recovery.
Sarah, a friend of Mother's, came to her late one evening and said that her sister was in a serious condition. The next morning she waited for Mother outside the synagogue to tell her that her sister was feeling much better. After the service, the women leaving the synagogue surrounded Sarah and showered her with questions: “How is your sister?” “How is she feeling?” “Is she all right?” Sarah was surprised: “How do you know about my sister?” They answered: “What do you mean, how? At the Rabbanit's request, we all prayed for her before the service began!”
At Mother's funeral, women sobbed: “Oh, oh! Who will pray for us now?”
Every woman for whom Mother prayed became almost a relative to her. She asked about her life, rejoiced in her good news and shared her sorrow, even if she had never seen the woman herself and had received her name from another woman who had sent a third woman to her for that purpose…
The list of names
During the Days of Awe, prayers for the Jewish people were always on Mother's lips. On Rosh Hashanah, for example, she would go to Father and read out a long list of the names of people who needed deliverance or a blessing.
Mother knew by heart the names of everyone for whom she prayed!
She remembered all the names even after she became well known, when more and more women came to her for blessings and there were more and more people to pray for. Mother never wrote lists of names on paper. She remembered hundreds, perhaps thousands, of names by heart. Many of those for whom she prayed had more than one name; some had rare or unusual names. Yet Mother remembered every name and every request associated with it. This did not happen effortlessly: it took a great deal of work. Sometimes she invented little reminders so that she would not forget a particular name. Many women were astonished when, years after their first meeting, Mother asked whether the problem they had discussed then had been resolved.
Once names entered Mother's “list,” they stayed there for a long time. She prayed for those people for years, sometimes decades! “I have been praying for her for thirty years!” she once told a friend after a long conversation with an elderly, sick woman, as she said goodbye to her.
In a difficult moment, people naturally pour out their sorrow to someone else and ask for prayers. Yet once the situation improves, they may forget to say so. The women who had so desperately wanted Mother to pray for them sometimes forgot, or could not find the time, to tell her that her prayer had been accepted. She would continue for years to pray for something that was no longer needed…
“How is Sarah Gitl, daughter of Rivka Tzirl?”
Mother could often be heard asking: “How is so-and-so, daughter of so-and-so? I am praying for her all the time!” Sometimes she addressed women by the name she used in her prayers: “Shalom, Sarah Gitl, daughter of Rivka Tzirl!” Or she would ask: “Chaya Masuda, daughter of Oshrat Saada, correct?” In this way Mother let them know that she remembered them and prayed for them.
An acquaintance came to Mother to ask for a blessing for her sick mother's recovery. When Mother saw her, she asked: “How is your little girl Sarah, daughter of Esther, doing with her stammer?” (All the names are fictitious.)
The woman did not immediately understand what Mother meant. It took her a while to remember. Four years earlier, during the summer holidays, the whole family had gone away. While they were there, their two-year-old daughter confused the door of their apartment with their neighbors' door. When she opened the wrong door, an enormous black dog greeted her. The little girl, who had previously seen dogs only in pictures, was terribly frightened and began to stammer. As soon as the family returned to Bnei Brak, the girl's mother came to us for a blessing. Mother blessed her, and soon not a trace of the stammer remained.
Four years had passed. The girl was now six and completely healthy, but Mother still prayed for her every day…
Once Mother was asked to promise a complete recovery for a Jew with a dangerous illness. Someone in the household told those asking: “The Rabbanit is doing everything in her power! The sick person's name is always on her lips: morning, afternoon and evening. She prays for him no less than you do yourselves.”
A relative once asked Mother whether she remembered her. Mother looked hurt: “Don't I pray for you every day?!” Such stories occurred hundreds of times, and not only with relatives.
One day a woman came to Mother and told her that a scheduled operation had been canceled at the last moment because the growth the doctors had intended to remove had disappeared on its own. Mother said: “You cannot imagine how I prayed for you at Minchah on Yom Kippur!”
Whenever a car with a loudspeaker drove past the house announcing a funeral, Mother listened closely and sighed deeply. More than once she said something like: “Oh, I prayed for him for five years…”
Prayers that brought deliverance
Many women found deliverance after Mother's influence led them to pray more. Here are just a few of their stories:
One woman had three unmarried daughters who could not find their matches. Mother advised her to pray more. The woman followed her advice, and, wonderfully, all three became engaged one after another!
A twenty-eight-year-old woman had been looking for a marriage partner for many years. Following Mother's advice, she added another prayer, and soon she became engaged.
Another woman, who was getting older, told Mother that she very much wanted to marry, but no prospective partners were being suggested to her. She prayed twice a day, and Mother recommended adding a third prayer.
On the fortieth day after her conversation with Mother, the young woman became engaged!
One woman told us: “For many years I had no children. I underwent several courses of fertility treatment. At one point I came to the Rabbanit. She said: ‘Why are you undergoing treatment? Pray three times a day, and the Almighty will help you!’ I did not take her words to heart. Two more years passed without any change in my life. Then I remembered the Rabbanit's advice and made a firm decision: I would pray three times a day, no matter what! Soon I became pregnant!”
There was also a married couple who still had no children after eighteen years of marriage. They had already consulted the best specialists, all without success. Mother was a messenger from Heaven to bring them deliverance. When the woman came to her and described her distress, Mother advised her and her husband to read the entire Book of Tehillim together every day, a tried and tested practice mentioned in the book Pele Yoetz. They followed her advice, and about a year later twins were born to them!
A woman living abroad became seriously ill and asked Mother to pray for her. Mother mentioned her name in her prayers every day. She advised the woman to read the entire Book of Tehillim daily and sent her a booklet of stories of miraculous deliverance through reading Tehillim. A year later Mother received a letter in which the woman wrote that the prayers had been heard and she had made a complete recovery. In her letter, she urged everyone to follow Mother's advice…
Mother did not leave a testament for Jewish women. Yet I think that, if she had, among other things she would certainly have written: “Pray! You have the ability to turn the world around with your voice, as it is said: ‘The voice is the voice of Jacob.’ Whatever you do, do not let this opportunity slip away!”
Original Russian translation: Kh. Berman