Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg
The wedding blessing: Simcha and Shalom (Joy and Peace)
Rabbi Yerucham Halevi Leibovitz, the spiritual mentor of the Mir Yeshiva in Poland, comments on the blessing Asher bara (“Who created”), recited under the chuppah during the wedding ceremony.
Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, Who created gladness and joy, groom and bride, rejoicing, song, delight and happiness; love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. Soon, L-rd our G-d, may there be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the voice of gladness and the voice of joy, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the joyful cries of grooms beneath their wedding canopies and of young people at their feasts. Blessed are You, L-rd, Who brings joy to the groom and bride!
The blessing contains many beautiful words: sasson (gladness), simcha (joy), chatan (groom), kallah (bride), gilah (rejoicing), rinah (song), ditzah (delight), chedvah (happiness), ahavah (love), achvah (brotherhood), shalom (peace) and re'ut (friendship).
The inclusion of the groom and bride in this list seems somewhat out of place.
Among all these expressions of joy and admiration, each with its own melody, we find a reference to the groom and his bride, the couple we have come to gladden on their wedding day.
Why are they included in a blessing about their happiness? People are not songs; moreover, we sing for them rather than about them.
The answer, Rabbi Yerucham explains, is that the groom and bride themselves are also a beautiful melody. Together they sing a single spiritual song that combines the two of them. Neither can perform their part alone, because this is not a solo. Both their voices are needed; both their souls must unite to create a new song that will fill their home throughout their life together.
Our sages teach that a wife is, as it were, part of her husband: ishto ke-gufo. Husband and wife therefore form a single whole. The holy Zohar, a foundational work of Kabbalah, describes a woman as pelag guf, half a person, and says the same about a man. Until marriage, these halves are separate.
The chuppah, its blessings and melodies mark the beginning of a new life together.
The blessing speaks of “the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride,” united in happiness and joy. A happy union between a man and his wife requires effort. A melody must have harmony to delight the ear. We can therefore learn from Rabbi Yerucham's teaching that particular care must be taken to preserve the balance between husband and wife that creates this melody.
Married life is a process, not an event.
People who care for one another, give and show understanding will live, grow and build together. Working together, spouses who build a home of Torah allow tzelem Elokim, the Divine image, to become manifest within them. Simcha and shalom will fill their lives.
To be continued.