The Gaon Rav Moshe Shapiro, zt"l, who passed away last week, addresses Jewish mothers first and foremost in his letter on the challenges of raising children today. He describes the Jewish woman as the irreplaceable foundation of the home, the family, and the people as a whole. The future of our people, and the survival and success of coming generations, depend on us! Let us listen to the words of this great Torah sage, spoken from the depths of his sensitive heart:
Throughout the ages, upbringing has played a far greater role than education in raising the sons of the people of Israel. The Gemara says (Bava Batra, 21a): “Whoever had a father, his father taught him Torah, and whoever did not have one did not study Torah.” Until the era of the Second Temple, there were no teachers for children in Israel, and it is clear that even when a child had a father, the father went out to his work until evening, and the son spent most of his time with his mother, who could not teach him. She devoted herself solely to his upbringing, and of this it is said: “And do not forsake your mother’s Torah” (Mishlei, 1:8).
Mothers instilled in successive generations the distinguishing traits of the people of Israel: compassion, modesty, and kindness—the spiritual qualities of our holy forefathers. Just as our very connection to them, through which we are counted among their children, is through mothers (even when the father is not Jewish), rather than through fathers (when the mother is not Jewish), so too the transmission of our holy forefathers’ qualities, which shape the character of a member of the people of Israel, took place through “your mother’s Torah.” Thus the words “Israel, in whom I will be glorified” (Yeshayahu, 49:3) are fulfilled—through the beauty and charm of Israel’s character traits, which are solely the fruit of upbringing. These qualities cannot be acquired through any education, but only in accordance with what is said: “The way of life is reproof” (see the Vilna Gaon’s commentary on Mishlei, 6:23).
And the reason for our decline and our deplorable condition is that we have completely stopped educating our children, and the rotten fruits of this neglect are clearly visible in our streets and in our families, and it is already difficult to discern the distinguishing traits of our people in our young offspring. And in these young people the words will be fulfilled: “Even when he grows old, he will not depart from it” (Mishlei, 22:6)—from the path on which they were raised… Yet they are destined to become the educators of the next generation, G-d forbid! Awaken, then, teachers and parents, and devote yourselves to bringing up children! For this is the cornerstone, “the stone at the foundation of Israel,” where the word “stone”—in the holy tongue, even—is also read as av-ben (father-son); see Rashi on the verse: “From there he became the shepherd of the stone of Israel” (Bereishit, 49:24).
With sorrow in my heart and great fear for the future, Moshe Shapiro.