Rebbetzin Leah Gans
Through chesed a person can acquire worlds, or, as it is written (Tehillim 89:3): «A world of chesed will be built».
Sometimes an opportunity for chesed «comes our way» in very simple situations.
An elderly woman gets on a bus and looks for a seat. She does not want to sit next to men. There are only 2 empty seats—and both are next to men. Someone else can help her simply by asking these men to sit together, which will free up a seat for the elderly lady. There is also an element here of «paying attention». In other words, the very fact that we noticed this woman's discomfort is already very good. And helping her find a seat is chesed.
Let us continue reading «Ahavat Chesed» (8:4): «If he sees that his fellow is saddened by his poverty or some sorrow, G-d forbid, but he himself cannot help his fellow (physically, through action; if he can, words alone do not fulfill his obligation toward his fellow), it is still a mitzvah to speak heart to heart with him and distract him from his worries. This, too, will be chesed. As Rabbeinu Yonah wrote in “Iggeret HaTeshuvah” (16), even if he is poor and unable to give charity, he can still display this good quality (chesed), without (using) money and not at the cost of (anything else).
And this is the act of kindness: to speak to the heart of this poor man, and let his words soothe the spirit of this unfortunate man and comfort him in his affairs and in the exhausting labor of his hands, and let him (show) respect for the man.
Our teachers told us (Bava Batra 9b): “One who gives a coin to a poor person is blessed with six blessings, while one who soothes him with words is blessed with eleven blessings, as it is said in Isaiah (58:10): ‘And open your soul to the suffering, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then your light will shine in the darkness, and your gloom will be like midday’”. And this is the meaning of soothing with words: showing goodwill with a whole heart and a loving soul. For it is written in the book “Be'er Heitev” that the reward and blessing for this far exceed the merit of one who gives tzedakah».
One can use the excuse: «I have no money myself; I can barely make ends meet each month. I cannot engage in tzedakah or gemilut chasadim».
That is not true, because even if he cannot help financially, and even if he is weak and cannot help physically, he can always talk.
I remember one of our neighbors who was a relative of ours. She had married off all her children, been widowed, and fallen ill with a dangerous illness. She was a very strong woman, and I… was a little afraid to go and visit her.
One day, my daughter persuaded me to visit this neighbor. We went in and stayed for only a short time. I saw that she was not annoyed that we had come. After that, I began visiting her without my daughter, every Erev Shabbat between Minchah and Maariv, in that brief interval. I saw that it made her happy, but I did not think it was important to her.
The last time I visited her before she passed away (afterward, she was taken to the hospital, and I could no longer come), she was feeling very unwell.
Her daughter told me, after she had passed away, that my visit that day and my words (very simple ones: «Shabbat hi miliz'ok u-refuah kerovah lavo»—«Shabbat is a time of rest from lamentation; healing is near») had a positive effect on her. When I left, this woman said to her daughter, «It is as though she took part of my illness away with her» (everyone who visits someone who is ill, as it were, takes 1/60 of their illness). I really did not say anything special. I simply showed her a little sympathy in her distress and asked how she was feeling, and she felt that I had lifted some of the burden of her illness from her. We never know what can help or the true magnitude of our actions.
Our sincere interest, kind words, and care can work miracles!
to be continued
Prepared by Mrs. Zissi Skarzhinskaya