Neshama Sheli

Cheshvan — the bitter taste of hope

The Flood began in the month of Cheshvan. Another bitter event. But then, when the Flood ended, Noah released the dove of hope. And that hope had the bitter taste of an olive branch. Tell me, have you ever wondered why hope tastes bitter?

Anat Brusilovsky

Purple petunias behind a rain-covered window

The month of Cheshvan has arrived — or, more precisely, ‘Mar-Cheshvan’.


The month of the first gray days, the first rains, the beginnings of existential melancholy. The prefix ‘mar’, often left out in everyday speech, hints at all of this. In the holy tongue, ‘mar’ actually means ‘bitter’.

And in Aramaic, ‘mar’ means ‘master’. ‘Mar’ also means ‘drop’.

I don’t know about you, but I’m waiting for rain. Waiting for drops of blessing from heaven. When drops come together, they become a single whole. One molecule. Imagine: even the sea is one enormous molecule.

So are we. When we wish one another good fortune, we become one molecule. A molecule of goodness.


Sometimes, when the sky is gray, drops fall from it (and from our eyes), and the soul feels bitter. Sometimes you try to build something, do something, achieve something, obtain something — only to find yourself at a dead end. And bitterness spreads through you like gray lead. The Flood began in the month of Cheshvan. Another bitter event. But then, when the Flood ended, Noah released the dove of hope. And that hope had the bitter taste of an olive branch.

Tell me, have you ever wondered why hope tastes bitter?


Why does it awaken when everything is gray and uncertain?

Perek Shirah offers an answer to this question. It says: ‘The dove says: “Master of the Universe, let my food be bitter as an olive, as long as it comes from Your hand; I do not need even sweet honey from the hand of flesh and blood.”’

In Mar-Cheshvan, at a gray dead end, beneath drops of bitterness, you remember the Master and ask for just one thing: ‘Almighty, simply stay beside me and let me see Your hand. For all my hope is in You alone!’

And that is what I wish for all of you.
A bright and sweet month, full of hope!
I love you. Yours truly.