Children and Prayer - Shabbat - A Time for Heartfelt Conversation

The pace of modern life leaves us less and less time for heartfelt conversation with our loved ones.

While a husband and wife may see each other over a late dinner, many children may not see one of their parents for several days in a row – when the parent leaves for work or prayers, the child is still asleep, and when the parent returns from work or kollel, the child is already asleep.

These are the families for whom it makes sense to plan in advance what they will do on Shabbat – a day of rest that can and should be devoted to maintaining family unity!

For a father, this is a wonderful opportunity to spend time with his sons and set them a worthy example by taking them to the synagogue in the evening.

[Once, at a lecture by Rabbanit Haritan, I heard something said by one of the women, a mother of several boys: “When they go to the synagogue with their father on Friday night in white shirts and dark trousers, even if they come home in black shirts and white trousers – that is my Gan Eden!”. I don't think I have ever heard a more beautiful yet accurate description of what makes any Jewish wife and mother happy – translator's note].

And what about the mother herself?

First, there is the prayer immediately after lighting the candles and a warm “Shabbat Shalom,” which illuminates the souls of everyone in the household with a special light.

Once the boys have gone to synagogue with their father, there is no need to rush to the kitchen or get out the book you didn't finish reading on the subway. It is much better to gather the girls and give them your attention, talk about what happened during the week, and, if you have established an emotional connection, suggest reciting Kabbalat Shabbat together.

The service for welcoming Shabbat includes several passages that are lovely to sing together; if you have organizational skills and your daughters have enough friends living nearby, organize a Tehillim reading at your home!

In Jerusalem, for example, women have a tradition of gathering to recite Tehillim together every Shabbat immediately after candle lighting; mothers come with their daughters and children who are still too young for synagogue.

This has three advantages at once: first, mothers spend time with their daughters; second, the girls are introduced to the habit of prayer; and third, in the company of adults, the girls subconsciously imitate their behavior – and what better example could there be?

to be continued

Prepared by A. Shvalb