Basya Tsybukmakher
Facebook frenzy is a form of nervous disorder with manic elements and, in severe cases, partial or complete distortion of the personality.
It is divided into mild, moderate, severe, and extremely severe degrees.
Mild Facebook frenzy
Frequency of checking the feed: everything is done; let me take a look at my feed and see what interesting little things are there.
Personality changes, as illustrated by one's attitude toward FB: "It's rubbish, of course, but…" "I'll just take a quick peek; maybe A. has posted something important/interesting"
Attitude toward bans: being banned causes an unpleasant sensation, like an aching tooth.
Moderate Facebook frenzy
Frequency of checking the feed: visits to FB at Shacharit–Mincha–Maariv intervals, with far greater punctuality and consistency than in actual prayer.
Personality changes, as illustrated by one's attitude toward FB: "Facebook is a place with lots of interesting people!" "I have real interaction there." "I spend my time on FB productively." "Where would I have learned this if it weren't for FB?"
Attitude toward bans: being banned is seen as a personal failure, proof of one's own inadequacy.
Severe Facebookitis
Frequency of visits to the feed: Facebook is on nonstop; the phone squawks with messages every second.
Personality changes, as illustrated by one's attitude toward Facebook: in severe cases, it even supplants Google-brain syndrome. One symptom is the response to new information/a lack of information—instead of "I need to Google it," it becomes "I'll check/ask in the Facebook feed/group now"
Attitude toward bans: being unable to share something on Facebook causes withdrawal symptoms; life comes to a standstill; an inflamed gaze fixes on the support service's message, counting the hours until the ban ends.
This description makes no claim to being exhaustive or scholarly. Research into Facebookitis continues, and information about its symptoms grows with every Facebook update. Anyone who wishes can join in studying this phenomenon by regularly observing... themselves.
To date, science knows of only one indisputable sign of the absence of Facebookitis in a person: not having a Facebook account.
P.S.: A description of extremely severe Facebookitis has been omitted because of its traumatizing effect.
P.P.S.: There were 42 hours left until the Facebook ban ended...