Much has changed in our world to the detriment of the family.
Permissiveness and licentiousness have become the norm, while the distinctive (different) roles of men and women in the family have become objects of ridicule. Thank G-d, this is less noticeable among the Jewish people, but we too are subject to outside influences.
Equality and emancipation have led to the erasure of boundaries within the family.
Nowadays, there is an opinion that women should recline during the Passover Seder. Previously, this applied only to distinguished women; today, we are speaking about all women. The qualities of husbands and wives have changed significantly, but the intrinsic characteristics of men and women have remained, and it is important to understand this. A woman remains in charge of the home and shifts easily from work to household tasks. For men, this transition is still difficult. Figuratively speaking, a man must take off his jacket and hat to become a husband and father.
A man's strength lies in creating and providing. A woman's strength lies in turning what a man provides into something useful, beautiful, and meaningful.
A man brings grain into the home, and a woman turns it into dough and then into bread. When Adam was cursed to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow, he wept in humiliation: would he really have to eat grain like a donkey? Then the Almighty told him that he would eat bread prepared by his wife.
When we see the dorm rooms of young men and young women, we understand very clearly the enormous difference between them. This difference becomes even more significant when it comes to the ways a man and a woman complement one another within the family. Spouses should develop a mutual attraction and a desire for unity in everything. With such unity, they will go through their entire lives together, merit raising children, and see their children's families and their own grandchildren.
The sheva brachot blessings include the words re'im ha'ahuvim ("beloved companions"). What do they mean?
A person can easily stop loving something that does not suit them. She forgot to make lunch, and he stopped loving her; he forgot to take out the garbage, and she stopped loving him. "Beloved" means recognizing your spouse's status and taking it upon yourself to think about how to make your spouse love you. He is happy, and she shares his happiness; she plays the piano, and he accompanies her on the guitar. By thinking about what the other person loves, a person overcomes their own selfishness. Such behavior prompts one's spouse to say, "I love you," which expresses the unity between them.
The mitzvah of tzedakah states that one should provide the kind of help the person asking wants.
Imagine someone who literally has nothing to eat, cannot pay any bills, and is being evicted from his apartment. Yet he says that he needs the latest-model car. And he shows letters of recommendation from rabbis asking people to help him. He is a wealthy man who has fallen into poverty, and it so happens that he has never ridden a bus in his life. For him, a car and a housekeeper are the bare minimum. There is a mitzvah to help him, even though, by our understanding, these are obvious luxuries. The ability to rise above one's own wishes and understand what another person needs is what is called re'im ha'ahuvim. When spouses reach this state, what we ask for in the sheva brachot is fulfilled: "Give joy to those who love, as You once gladdened the one You created (man) in Gan Eden."