Basya Tsybukmakher
Body and Soul
Judaism rejects both extremes—on the one hand, the repugnant sexual licentiousness of the most ancient idolatrous cults and, on the other, the Christian doctrine that intimate relations between the sexes are inherently burdened by sin, and with it the Christian conception of marriage.
Giluy arayot (incest and sexual immorality) is one of the three cardinal sins that must be avoided even at the cost of one's own life, in accordance with the injunction: “Die rather than transgress!” Only forms of sexual activity forbidden by Torah law, however, are regarded as sin and abomination, whereas a negative attitude toward intimacy in general is entirely foreign to Judaism. “The soul (was given) by You, and the body is Yours”; therefore, there is no reason to regard the body's needs with contempt, provided that the needs of the soul receive constant care.
Kabbalah teaches that the Shekhinah (Divine Presence) dwells in a home only when the man who lives there is married and cohabits with his wife (Zohar, Bereshit, 1:122a)
The commandment “Be fruitful and multiply!” is the first of the commandments given to humanity. Of course, there is no doubt that sexuality is a natural physiological function that asserts itself so forcefully that no one escapes its temptations. Yet, on the other hand, through it the Creator populates the world, and the Divine will is fulfilled in it. This elevates and sanctifies the realm of sexuality.
Furthermore, there is something inherent in the intimacy and companionship of spouses that goes beyond the demands of procreation. In the first of the Torah's two accounts of the creation of man, where he is presented as a creature inseparably connected with nature, the Creator commands him to be fruitful and multiply, fill the whole earth and subdue it, so as to rule over all earthly creatures. The sexual instinct and desire for power, originally implanted in him, help him fulfill these commands (see Genesis 1:26-28).
Yet in the second, more extensive account of the creation of man, which concerns his moral essence, there is not even a mention of the command to be fruitful and multiply. Instead, we find these words: “And God Almighty said: It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suited to him” (Genesis 2:18). And further: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The mutual love of husband and wife, their shared experience of love, is an end in itself, a lofty virtue commanded and sanctified by the Creator. “It is not good for man to be alone”—these words mean that a person's inherent ability to do good cannot be realized without a mate, a partner upon whom to pour out selfless love.
The Jewish view of sexuality is expressed in halakhah in an unusually compelling and unambiguous form. For example, Judaism's uncompromising attitude toward adultery is well known, and it expresses an abhorrence of all sexual relations forbidden by the Law.
The ability to overcome temptations arising from instinct—and Judaism has always been highly realistic in assessing the harm that sexual desire can do to a person—is nothing other than an expression of holiness. The Torah passage containing the list of forbidden sexual relations is read in the synagogue during the afternoon service on the supremely holy Day of Atonement, because observing these prohibitions leads a person to moral elevation and holiness. At the same time, as already stated above, Jewish law not only permits sexual relations within the prescribed bounds but also encourages them. The right to sexual relations is considered a woman's lawful entitlement, no less important than her right to receive food and clothing, which her husband is obliged to provide. This view of relations between the sexes recognizes their value as an end in themselves, independently of procreation, whose importance is not diminished. Jewish law does not forbid sexual relations when they do not lead to pregnancy, as in the case of elderly people, men unable to father children, women unable to conceive, or relations during pregnancy.
During the wedding ceremony held beneath the wedding canopy, seven blessings are recited. In one of them, the Creator is blessed for having created man in His image and likeness and given him the ability to perpetuate himself through his descendants. As the Torah says: “And God created man in His own image…male and female He created them. And God blessed them and said to them: Be fruitful and multiply!” There is no inconsistency, flaw in creation, or oversight on the Creator's part in the fact that a human being, created in God's image and endowed with a soul, also possesses a sexual instinct and produces offspring. Judaism finds no insurmountable contradiction between a person's likeness to God and sexual nature, between body and spirit. If the human soul and a person's sexual, craving nature struggle with one another, this contradiction is merely apparent, not fundamental.