And let us be cleansed of our impurity…
Those who prepare themselves in this way for marriage and unite with one another after immersion in the mikveh, during which the woman blesses God and thanks Him for having sanctified her, know—this knowledge is conveyed to them in a symbolic and elevated form—that their marital relations are sanctified and blessed, that these relations are pure and contain nothing vulgar; that these relations are holy and contain nothing indecent. Observance of the rules of family purity has a purifying and illuminating influence on the soul. It sanctifies and ennobles the attitudes of husband and wife toward one another, as though the purifying waters of the mikveh had washed their thoughts, cleansing them of everything false and flawed left over from their youth that might undermine their love and mutual respect—the only guarantee of the family's stability. Thus, the mikveh becomes a sacred link between morality and marital relations, bringing husband and wife to one another in purity and tenderness, so that their love will not be touched by feelings of guilt and shame—the traces of earlier inner struggles.
No philosophy of sexual relations, however persuasively formulated, can match the laws of family purity in the depth and strength of its psychological influence. Yet only putting these laws into practice can bring the Jewish worldview and the values inseparable from it into such an important and sensitive area of life.
Purification—a Spiritual Mystery
To fully appreciate the meaning of the laws of family purity, it is also important to understand their nature.
Without Prejudice
First of all, Judaism regards a woman during her period of impurity differently from other cultures, which consider her marked by shame during this period and find her repulsive. She was subjected to ostracism of a mystical nature and forbidden to be in the company of others throughout this period.
The great Rambam, the renowned 12th-century Talmudic scholar, philosopher, and physician, firmly rejected the superstitions and customs of the Sabians, Magians, and other ancient peoples concerning a woman during her period of impurity, and emphasized the spiritual essence of the Jewish teaching on family purity. Unfortunately, many of our contemporaries equate the laws of the Torah with the beliefs of ancient primitive cultures. Such ideas result from ignorance and a complete lack of knowledge of Jewish laws and traditions. For this reason, they are unable to view the subject of family purity in a broader perspective informed by an understanding of the subject.
Terminological confusion is also responsible for regrettable distortions in the understanding of the commandments and their inner meaning. Misunderstanding the terms “purity” and “impurity,” and the adjectives derived from them, “pure” and “impure,” leads to a most serious semantic error, giving them a mystical and frightening meaning in the eyes of many, as though an unclean spirit dwelled within the woman and had to be expelled through magical acts.
Yet this is clearly untrue. According to the teachings of Judaism, neither a man nor a woman undergoes any change in character or personal worth when “impure.” Nothing about this state diminishes or degrades a woman in comparison with another woman who is in a state of “purity.”
The concepts of “impurity” and “purity” are categories associated with the observance of Jewish law. They are meant only to remind Jewish men and women of the rules of conduct that bind them under certain circumstances. Moreover, Jewish law sees no merit in someone who was “impure” becoming “pure” again. It merely states that during the period of “impurity,” that person is forbidden, as we have already mentioned, to eat sacred foods, namely sacrificial offerings and terumot, or to enter the Temple precincts. And if the law requires a woman in a state of impurity to perform the rite of purification promptly and without delay, this is only so that she can resume marital relations with her husband without unnecessary postponement—as a contribution to fulfilling one of the principal purposes of marriage.
A Semantic Tragedy
There is another very widespread misconception about the laws of family purity that has led to their being neglected in many Jewish families. This error, too, is largely semantic, since it results from mistranslating the words “pure” and “impure” as “hygienic” and “unhygienic.” It is therefore hardly surprising that many young people raised on modern scientific and technological concepts reject the law of family purity. The achievements of sanitation and hygiene in our “enlightened” age are so impressive that the younger generation sees no benefit in observing an ancient law to ensure the cleanliness of their bodies.
It must be understood that the law of family purity does not in any way entail a hygienic procedure. “Impurity” is not dirt or filth that can be washed away with water: the purification prescribed by the Torah concerns the motivations of the heart.
Care for the body, hygiene, and physical health are valued in Judaism. These, however, are entirely separate and independent laws, and they must not be confused, as many people do in their ignorance, with the laws of family purity. For example, the High Priest was required to immerse himself five times during the Temple ritual on the Day of Atonement. Clearly, no one familiar with the priestly service in the Temple would suppose that the High Priest needed to wash five times to attain physical cleanliness in terms of ordinary hygiene. Clearly, the purpose of immersion is entirely different and has nothing to do with hygiene. Moreover, Jewish law requires a woman to be thoroughly clean physically before immersing in the mikveh.
In this connection, the medical aspect of the Jewish law of family purity should be noted. It is known that observing this law prevents, among other things, certain forms of cancer (the reader can find this information in pamphlets devoted to the subject). In addition, the period of separation between spouses gives them the rest and tranquility needed to establish a proper rhythm in their intimate relations. No voluntary abstinence can be as effective or provide such complete peace as the separation commanded by religious law. If the law forbids spouses to approach one another, neither will suspect that the other's love has weakened.
And again—God forbid that we should imagine that this is the meaning of the law, that this exhausts its meaning. The laws of family purity as a whole are, by their very nature, exclusively spiritual and religious in meaning. The psychological and medical aspects that result from observing the law are no more than accompanying factors; the deepest meaning of these provisions has nothing to do with psychology, medicine, anthropology, or hygiene.