Rebbetzin Leah Gans
But what if a person is not at all content with their lot? What if they are completely dissatisfied with their life? How can we tell them: be happy with what you have?
Joy in one's lot comes from faith, from understanding: the Almighty has given me everything I need in this world to fulfill my purpose.
Sometimes a person feels something is missing, that they are neither physically nor spiritually whole. "I wish I had better character traits." "I wish I were healthier." "Why does everything work out better for my neighbor? Why does he succeed?" "Why do I struggle to get through prayer without becoming distracted, while my neighbor manages it with ease?" "Why can my neighbor do chesed from morning until evening and gather children from the whole building at her home for Tehillim, while I cannot?" "Her abilities are no better than mine—why does she earn 'excellent' marks on her exams, while I do not?"
Such thoughts are wrong. A person should aspire to rise higher, but should not look down on themselves. They should not see themselves as incapable or deficient. The Almighty created everyone with a particular set of qualities, inner reserves, and strengths. No one in the world can measure themselves against someone else; everyone has different resources because everyone has different goals.
We must strengthen our faith: "The L-rd created me this way, with these abilities, with these strengths, so this is what He wants from me."
We do not need to be "a second Rabbi Akiva Eiger." We need to try to realize our potential, to reach our own fullest potential using the means available to us—what we have been given. And then there will be no reason for sadness or depression. If we compare who we are today with who we were yesterday, seeing our own progress, there will be no reason for despair. There is no place for comparing ourselves with others—each person sees themselves as unique in the world, because no one else can carry out their task; only they have been given the resources for it. You can more easily accept yourself as you are. Your physical part—the body—and your spiritual part.
When a person truly accepts themselves—that is, accepts their resources and their unique task—they live in harmony with themselves, and this brings them joy.
This is real joy, true joy. But it also takes daily work.
Rav Wolbe, in his book "Alei Shur," suggests carefully considering two blessings that we recite in the morning: "Who has provided for all my needs" and "Who directs the steps of man." Before reciting each of them, a person should pause and think:
- I believe with complete faith that the Almighty has provided me with everything I need. There is nothing I need that the L-rd has not given me. If I needed it, He would have provided it; if I do not have it, that means I do not need it. With what I have, I can reach my goal.
- I believe with complete faith that the Almighty directs my steps and leads me along my path.
to be continued