Rebbetzin Leah Gans
Gratitude (hoda'ah)
When our matriarch Leah's first son was born, she named him Reuben ("The L-rd has seen my affliction"); she named the second Simeon ("The L-rd has heard that I am unloved"), the third Levi ("This time my husband will spend [more time] with me"), and the fourth Judah ("This time I will thank the L-rd"). If all the matriarchs—Jacob's wives—had borne an equal number of sons, Leah would have had three sons. Since a fourth was born, she received more than her share—and gave thanks for it.
The Jewish people are called "am Yehudi," the people of the Jews, those who know how to give thanks and acknowledge their mistakes (from the word hoda'ah, which means appreciation and gratitude).
Our task is to thank the Almighty.
Rabbi Shimshon Dovid Pincus compares prayer to making a request of another person. If there were someone who provided us with everything we needed—food, clothing, work, a roof over our heads—how grateful we would be to him! And how would we approach him after receiving his gifts? Would we demand more? Or would we thank him endlessly for everything? And how do we treat the One Who has given us air, water, life, family, a husband and children, health? Do we thank Him every second, or demand more with dissatisfaction?
The Chafetz Chaim writes that if, before Birkat Hamazon (the blessing after a meal), we paused for a moment and thought, "I was hungry, and now I am full. Thank G-d! I can eat, taste my food and enjoy it," we would be very grateful. There are people who have to be fed through a tube—and it is agonizing…
Every morning we say how grateful we are to the Almighty that we can see, that we have something to wear, that He straightens those who are bent over and frees prisoners, for everything we need… We say this automatically, but we should reflect on it, because it really is true! We can see—thank G-d!
Before Shemoneh Esrei, we say in King David's words: "L-rd, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise."
If we understood before Whom we are about to offer our prayer, fear and awe would leave us unable to open our mouths… In earlier times, pious people would study for an hour before prayer, prepare themselves, and ready their hearts for a conversation with the Almighty. And what about us? Often we do not even remember whether we said Birkat Hamazon. If we paused for two seconds before praying or reciting a blessing, we would remember whether we had said it.
It is written about our matriarch Sarah: "And Sarah's life was a hundred years and twenty years and seven years—the years of Sarah's life." There are several explanations of this verse. One is based on the numbers (the years of her life) used in it and on verses from Tehillim. Psalm number one hundred begins with the words "A psalm of thanksgiving"—and that is its essence. Psalm number twenty is recited when difficult times come and sorrows overwhelm us. It contains these words: "The L-rd will answer you on the day of distress; the name of the G-d of Jacob will strengthen you."
Our matriarch Sarah viewed all the events of her life in the same way—both those that could be called "days of distress" and those for which one feels grateful.
She felt gratitude for both.
Rabbi Pincus related that in his youth he studied with his father. On a day when he studied especially well, quickly absorbing and understanding the material, his father would say: "You deserve to be punished. Since you studied so well today, it proves that you could have studied just as well yesterday! And the day before that!" The same could be said of us: Why do we pray with all our hearts only when troubles befall us? Doesn't that mean we could have prayed just as well before?!
First thing in the morning, as soon as we open our eyes, we thank the living and eternal King for returning our soul to us in His great mercy.
A Jew, a Yehudi—an heir to Judah's legacy—begins the day with gratitude to the Creator that his soul has returned and he is alive. If this is hard to imagine, we can remind ourselves how we would thank a benefactor—for example, a doctor who performed a major operation and saved someone's life. How much more feeling, then, should we put into thanking the Almighty for returning our soul to our body in the morning and allowing us to wake up.
There is a principle that prayer "with a congregation" is accepted sooner than prayer offered alone. So, if possible, it is better to join a minyan in prayer.
But even in personal prayer, we can add our requests while joining ourselves to the entire people.
In Shemoneh Esrei, you can insert one brief request in each of the middle blessings (not in the first three or the last three). For example, in "You grant man knowledge," before the end of the blessing (before "Blessed"), you can insert the request "Give my son a clear understanding of Torah among the other children of Your people Israel," and continue: "Blessed are You, L-rd, Who grants knowledge."
Be sure to add "among others"; then your individual prayer becomes a "prayer of many." You are now praying for all the people of Israel—and such a prayer gains greater strength.
The same applies to prayers for sustenance, for a return to teshuvah, or for someone who is ill. Only one blessing in Shemoneh Esrei is entirely personal—"Shema Koleinu," "Hear our voice"—but even there, it speaks throughout on behalf of the entire people, so longer personal requests may be inserted there.
My father-in-law (Rabbi Yisrael Gans, the rabbi of Mattersdorf, may he be granted a full recovery) heard Rabbi Yechezkel Abramsky relate what he prayed for on his first visit to the Western Wall.
During the prayer itself, in Shema Koleinu, Rabbi Abramsky said:
"What is my request of You like? A wealthy merchant had two sons: one was successful, and the other a failure. As he approached old age, the merchant gave his successful son money and sent him on his way—he could get on his feet and start a business on his own. The father brought his unsuccessful son into his own business. Almighty! I am Your unsuccessful son. I want to study Torah, and I cannot handle the task of ‘opening a yeshiva’ on my own. Please, let someone take me into his existing yeshiva."
Right there, at the Western Wall, Rabbi Mordechai Shulman approached him and asked him to teach at the Slabodka Yeshiva in Bnei Brak! Rabbi Abramsky told the Almighty an entire parable in the middle of Shemoneh Esrei! Yet this did not go beyond the bounds of his prayer—he felt he could explain himself this way!
How long will it take us to pray Shacharit?
The shortest version, Shacharit for busy women. Half an hour? Isn't it a shame to waste half an hour mumbling a prayer? Would that mean that we could have filled that half hour of our lives with a request and gratitude, but instead automatically recited the required text?
Let us begin our prayer with a few moments of reflection: before Whom we are about to stand and with Whom we are about to speak. How many opportunities this appeal to the Master of the Universe gives us! How much strength our prayer can have if we join it to the prayers of the entire people!
prepared by: Mrs. Zissi Skarzhinskaya