Three Levels of Love - The Third Level

The Rambam writes about three levels of love:

1. Lowest. “Love based on pleasure.” 2. Middle. “Love based on benefit.” 3. Highest. Love that depends on nothing—true love.

The third level is the hardest to describe. It is true love that depends on nothing.

Ruchama Shain's book “All for the Boss” recounts an incident that, in my opinion, is a wonderful illustration of true love. I will quote a passage from the book.

“...Moshe and I needed to obtain an official marriage certificate. Since I was not yet 18 years old, Papa and Mama had to come with us and attest to their consent. Together we took the subway into the city. There was a long line at the office we needed, and we were invited to wait in a spacious room. An enormous table surrounded by chairs stood in the center. Papa and Mama sat at opposite ends of the table, while my fiancé and I sat together.

I noticed how we had spontaneously chosen our seats and, laughing, said to my parents:

— Look, Moshe and I aren't even married yet, but we're already close, while you've been married for so long and are far apart!

— Let me explain something to you, Papa said. — You and Moshe are only just starting out, only learning to be together. Your bond as a couple is still weak, so you need physical closeness to demonstrate your devotion to one another. But Mama and I have been together for so many years, and our bond is so strong that we can be at opposite ends of the table—or at opposite ends of the world—and what is between us will remain unchanged and strong.

Mama listened breathlessly to every word Papa said. Her face glowed, and the glance that flashed between them suddenly revealed to me a universe of feeling and depth I had never suspected, having taken my parents and their relationship as the most natural thing in the world. I was awestruck by the strength and beauty of their bond! How I prayed in my heart at that moment that Moshe and I, too, might be blessed with such a relationship as the one that had made my parents' lives so full of meaning and happiness.”

Perhaps there truly is no greater blessing than true love.

Conclusion           

When there is oil in the vessel - The candle burns.

You are light.

The years bring no boredom. There is  a path of warmth.

Preserving yourself, You are light.

An ocean of quarrels and disbelief

Cannot extinguish Light:

A shield against the blizzard – Your hand

No walls are stronger,

Than  – Light.

We express our deep gratitude to the author, Rabbanit Esther Offengenden, and the publisher “Mishpacha Kehalacha” (www.mishpacha.ru) for permission to publish chapters from the book “Life After the Wedding.”