When we feel unwell or need a medical examination for some reason, we see a doctor, even if we have some basic medical knowledge.
Sometimes this means overcoming embarrassment, as when visiting a gynecologist, for example, and we do so because we understand how important our health is. Eventually, seeing a doctor becomes routine, and the discomfort disappears.
Our souls also need the help of a specialist—a rabbi, an expert in Jewish law. Most people are not familiar with all the details of the laws of niddah. Can we refuse a rabbi's help on the grounds that this is a deeply personal, intimate matter? Can we take responsibility for the health of our souls?
Of course not. It is perfectly clear that when it comes to the health of the soul, just as with physical health, we cannot manage without a specialist's help and guidance.
When consulting a rabbi, we, too, may feel somewhat awkward at first; it is not easy to call a rabbi or show him a bedikah cloth or underwear. But this awkwardness must be overcome. After several such consultations, we begin to see them as normal. And just as a doctor keeps patients' medical information confidential, a rabbi keeps private the personal information of those who seek his advice.
If we are unsure about how to apply a particular law, we must never impose stricter rules on our own initiative simply to avoid consulting the rabbi one more time. Doing so can put us at odds with the Almighty's commandments. Many women only belatedly learn that for years they have made mistakes in observing the laws of niddah: being stricter when there was no need, or unwittingly breaking a rule—all because they were too embarrassed to go and ask a rabbi.
The advice of a knowledgeable rabbi can be useful not only concerning the laws of niddah and their details, but also more broadly. There have been cases in which advice a rabbi gave women who consulted him about niddah helped them conceive or made it possible to detect an illness[1] at an early stage.
[1] For example, a malignant growth or internal bleeding.