We have reached the stage when menstruation begins again. The lining of the uterus and the unfertilized egg break down and are expelled from the body to make way for new creation. A woman enters the status of “niddah.”
This stage can be likened to winter. At first glance, winter is a bleak time: bare branches with neither fruit nor leaves, bare or snow-covered ground with neither grass nor flowers, bitter cold and emptiness. Yet, if we think about it, there is also much pleasure to be found in what winter offers us. Winter, too, has its own beauty, and its benefits are beyond doubt.
The earth and plants need this transitional period, when their life pauses for a time so that they can be renewed with fresh vigor the following spring and summer. The process of growth in trees resumes as early as winter, although it is not yet visible from the outside.
During the “winter” period, spouses maintain physical distance from one another; intimacy is forbidden to them.
We have already discussed[1] how, although we cannot fully understand Torah laws of this kind, their effects are quite clear to us: we observe them constantly. Through the renewal of feeling that spouses experience at the end of the niddah period, their emotional and spiritual bond deepens. This is the result of their physical separation during the niddah period[2].
Moreover, the spouses' relationship continues to develop during the separation itself: husband and wife learn to love and value not only the sensual side of their relationship but also its emotional and psychological side.
This is a period when the spouses' mutual respect and understanding grow stronger, when husband and wife build a strong, elevated relationship that, unlike their physical bond, is less subject to the effects of time, as we will discuss later[3].
Observing the laws of family purity also offers additional benefits, particularly medical ones.
A woman's vaginal discharge, normally acidic, becomes alkaline during menstruation; unlike acidic discharge, it has no disinfecting properties. The mucus plug that normally closes off the entrance to the cervix dissolves. The vagina and uterus are left unprotected against infection. Therefore, abstaining from sexual intercourse during the menstrual period reduces the likelihood of inflammation.
The Status of «Niddah»
A woman becomes a niddah when any amount of blood is discharged from her uterus, whether in connection with menstruation or between periods for other reasons unrelated to hormonal processes.
Bloody discharge is red, any shade of red, or black. White, yellow, or green discharge without traces of red, shades of red, or black is not considered blood.
Childbirth and Miscarriage
After any type of childbirth or miscarriage, a woman becomes a niddah[4].
Spouses' Conduct During the Niddah Period
During the niddah period, not only sexual relations but literally any physical contact between spouses, such as touching, is forbidden. This is precisely what the Torah means when it says, “And you shall not approach a woman during her separation in her impurity, to uncover her nakedness”[5].
For this reason, the Sages instituted additional rules prohibiting actions that could lead spouses to intimacy. These include the prohibition against sleeping in the same bed or in beds that touch during the niddah period.
A reminder: our book provides only a brief outline of the laws, relating to family purity. They should be studied properly using halachic literature.
[1] At the end of chapter 1, "The Changing Seasons."
[2] See chapter 4, "Autumn."
[3] See chapter 14, “True Love.”
[4] For more details, see chapter 9, "Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Breastfeeding."
[5] Leviticus, 18:19.