Honoring Father and Mother
5. A beit din takes no special measures against those who do not treat their parents with respect. But if children hurt or humiliate their parents, the beit din must intervene. Sometimes, in such cases, a disobedient adolescent receives corporal punishment (as was the case in the time of the Temple).
6. The distinctive nature of this commandment becomes clear through a comparison of different verses in the Torah. When speaking about the Almighty and about parents, the Torah uses the same language. For example, in references to yirah (awe) or cursing. Someone who curses the Almighty or their parents receives a very severe punishment, as it is written: “Whoever curses his father and mother shall be put to death.”
7. The Talmud says that three take part in the creation of a human being: the father, the mother, and the Creator Himself. From the moment of conception, the parents and the Creator are regarded as a single whole (as far as the child's development is concerned), so by insulting and hurting their parents, children deprive themselves of the Shechinah—the special Divine Presence.
8. Anyone who hurts and disgraces their parents, even indirectly, by insinuation or behind their backs, is considered arur (cursed).
9. Even if parents acted wrongly and thereby caused their children inconvenience or harm, their children are still forbidden to treat them with contempt, let alone insult them.
10. If children curse their parents even after their parents' death, the Sages hold that they deserve severe punishment.
11. It is forbidden to raise a hand against one's father or mother. Anyone who inflicts bodily injury on their parents in the presence of witnesses and disregards a warning must be severely punished (unfortunately, Jews today have no court with such authority).
12. If there is a particular place where a father stands or sits while talking with his friends or studying, his son is forbidden to take that place, even if his father is not home. The same applies to the place where the father regularly prays or eats. The father himself may, however, give his son permission to sit in one of these places.
13. One must not argue with one's father, say “You are wrong” or “You are right,” or, when discussing a problem in the presence of others, say, “What Father is suggesting seems to me to be the wrong (or right) solution.” By doing so, a person shows that they can judge their father as an equal. It makes no difference whether the discussion concerns Torah or everyday matters. If the father is not present during the discussion, however, one may agree with what he has said.
14. When a father and son study together, the son may suggest possible answers that contradict the explanation put forward by his father, since they are now trying together to find the true answer and understand the wisdom of the Torah. If the father himself asks his son's opinion, the son may express it even if his words contradict his father's views, but only if the son knows that this will not anger his father.