Honoring Your Father and Mother
20. While a father was still asleep, his son was given an urgent message about a large and profitable business deal for his father. It also stated that a reply was needed within half an hour. If the son knows that his father will be glad to hear about it and upset that he was not awakened, he is permitted to wake him. Doing so would even be a mitzvah.
21. Honoring one's father and mother must be expressed not only in words but also in actions. Children should help their parents whenever they are able and whenever help is needed. This applies to anything their parents need, such as feeding them, helping them dress, taking them out for a walk, and so on.
Parents may also be helped through a third party (at the children's request), but it is best for the children to do it themselves. Help must be given to parents cheerfully and kindly, without showing displeasure. A warm attitude is often much more important to parents than the most expensive delicacies.
22. If parents have enough money to support themselves, their children are not obligated to spend their own money on the various kinds of assistance they provide; their parents' funds may be used for this. But if the parents have no money, and their son has more than he needs to provide for his family, he is obligated to use what is left to help his father and mother. In earlier times, special measures were taken by order of the court against a son who refused to help his parents.
23. A son who lacks sufficient means and barely has enough for his own family is not obligated to go out and ask for charity in order to fulfill the commandment to "honor your father and mother." However, this does not exempt him from offering whatever personal help he can provide (preparing food, taking them out for a walk, and so on).
24. If a son sees that he already has everything he needs for the day, he should make use of what is left and go to his parents who need help. There are special cases in which the rule may change, for example, if what is left is needed for future expenses, so a competent rabbi must be consulted.