Rules to Follow When Looking for a Spouse
9.
When the people involved are divorced, it is often necessary to approach the former wife (or husband) to clarify the reasons for and circumstances of the divorce. Here one must be even more careful with one's words, and the listener must be able to distinguish objective facts from emotions that distort the information.
10.
It is forbidden to deceive or misinform either party, especially about matters that could later cause harm and sow discord in the young couple's family. Although helping someone find a shidduch is part of the important commandment to “walk in the ways of the Almighty” (since the Almighty Himself also works to find a suitable match for a person), this in no way justifies achieving the goal by any means, and the process must not conflict with honesty and integrity.
If someone tries to persuade the young couple and convince them that they have made the right choice while concealing many shortcomings, he violates the prohibitions “do not place a stumbling block before the blind” (which includes not giving bad advice) and “do not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor” (“Vayikra,” 19:16). These commandments, as well as the commandment “do not pretend not to notice your neighbor's lost property” (“Devarim,” 21), awaken a sense of responsibility and a desire to help. But if he is willing to persuade them while knowing what is really being concealed, thereby becoming the cause of many years of pain and suffering for two innocent people, this shows that he is utterly corrupt.