On One Foot - Learning to Find Balance in Parenting

The Gemara (in tractate Shabbat 67a) says that a tree that drops unripe fruit is painted red and surrounded with stones.

Why? To weaken it... Sometimes a tree drops its fruit because it blooms too profusely and cannot support the quantity of fruit that develops from these blossoms.

In other words, it is too strong (and this is its weakness). The stones weaken the tree, reducing its flowering. But why paint it, then? So that passersby will see it and pray for the weakened tree...

So is it weak or strong? That is the question...

Mothers ask themselves the same thing: "Am I a strong or a weak mother?"

By looking at a tree, we can learn the right balance, the balance of a stem (giv'ol). It is thin and delicate. It does not hold the fruit too tightly, yet at the same time, it does not let it fall.

What is "giv'ol"? On the one hand, it is "gvul" (a boundary) and "ol" (a burden). On the other hand, it is "gav", "gibui" (backing, support) for the child ("olal" - a literary term for a child or infant).