Rebbetzin Chava Kuperman
According to tradition, her name is Hazelelponi, which means “Shadow of the North.”
She is from the tribe of Judah and marries Manoah from the tribe of Dan. Her spiritual level is higher than her husband’s. We draw this conclusion from the fact that the angel prefers to appear to her rather than to her husband Manoah. He appears to her twice. Manoah prays that the angel will appear to him as well, but the angel comes to Hazelelponi again, and she runs to fetch her husband.
It says: “And Manoah followed her.” This emphasizes that she was the head of the family. It was certainly not because she wanted to take on this role. Manoah was simply weaker, and she had to take the lead; this reflects poorly on Manoah, not on her.
So Hazelelponi marries a man from the north. (The tribe of Dan was in the north.) This fact is reflected in her name. Later, in Israel, Hazelelponi and Manoah will not live in the north.
We will not dwell here on the story of the birth of Samson, the son of Hazelelponi and Manoah. It is widely known, and readers who wish can refresh their memories on their own.
We are more interested in the deeper meaning of this marital union.
Two tribes are compared to a lion in the Torah: Jacob says this of Judah when blessing him, and Moses says it of the tribe of Dan. They undoubtedly have something in common that unites them.
When the Jews broke camp to continue their journey through the wilderness, the tribe of Judah set out first, and the tribe of Dan last. Those traveling formed a line, with each one’s place determined strictly by the hierarchy. During encampments, however, the Jews—all 12 tribes—were positioned around the Mishkan at an equal distance from it. The “first” and the “last” found themselves next to one another, closing the circle. This was a situation of equality.
Thus, the union of the tribe of Dan and the tribe of Judah brings about a state of complete equality among Jews.
(Judaism includes both the concept of hierarchy and the concept of equality in equal measure.)
Judah is a descendant of Leah, Jacob's first and principal wife.
Dan is a descendant of Bilhah, a secondary wife associated with Rachel, Jacob's second principal wife.
When Judah and Dan unite, all of Jacob's descendants are united—those born to his principal wives and those born to his secondary wives alike.
Interestingly, this union always occurs during the building of the Temple (which represents the highest point of unity among the Jewish people). For example, the Mishkan was built by two men—Bezalel of the tribe of Judah and Oholiab of the tribe of Dan.
During the construction of the 1st Temple, the chief organizer was King Solomon of the tribe of Judah, while the person overseeing the work was Hiram, whose father was from the tribe of Naphtali and whose mother was from the tribe of Dan. (Naphtali and Dan were sons of the same mother.)
Hiram supervised every stage of the Temple's construction. He was an expert in arts and crafts, knowledgeable in physics, architecture, and Pythagorean geometry, and directed all the construction and artistic work.
We know that the 3rd Temple will be built by Mashiach, whose father will be from the tribe of Judah and whose mother will be from the tribe of Dan. Almost the same as with Samson, only the other way around. (Samson was “almost” Mashiach.)
According to tradition, while blessing the tribe of Dan, Jacob saw Samson in a prophetic vision and thought that Samson might become Mashiach.
But then it was revealed to Jacob that Samson would be killed by the Philistines, and he said: “Almighty, I hope only for Your salvation.”
Samson Means Little Sun.
Samson was a long-awaited child. After many years of marriage, Tzelalphoni and Manoah remained childless. They did not know which of them was the cause. The angel who told Tzelalphoni about her future son revealed to her that the cause of their childlessness lay with her. But she did not say a word about this to her husband. Why tell him? Very soon they would have a baby, and at this point this information was entirely unnecessary. The angel also told her other important things. For example, that the child would save the Jews from the Philistines. Tzelalphoni kept silent about this as well, because she understood that such things were best kept secret: if the Philistines found out, they would try to kill the child.
She told her husband only what he needed to know: they would have a child; she now needed to maintain a high degree of spiritual purity (including not drinking wine or eating grapevines and their leaves); and their child would be a Nazirite (a recluse, someone who has taken a vow).
What can we learn from Tzelalphoni's example? It is not appropriate to tell your husband about every shortcoming of yours.
There is no point in causing him distress if nothing can be changed. The same applies to family matters that a husband is powerless to influence. You should not give in to your own weakness and “burden” him with absolutely everything. Of course, keeping things to yourself is not always easy; sometimes it is very difficult. But at times, it is the only way to preserve a healthy atmosphere in the family.
(We certainly do not wish to encourage our readers to conceal anything important from their husbands, and they certainly should not lie. There is a very fine line between “telling it as it is” and “not telling.” When such a question arises, it is best to consult a rabbi.)
to be continued