Rebbetzin Yemima Mizrahi
A Mother's Joy
And now it is time to explain what ima semecha means. Hannah was the mother of 7 sons. The oppressor wanted to force each of them to bow down to an idol. None of them did—and they were killed, one after another. The youngest, Chizkiyahu, whose grave is in the old cemetery in Safed, was only 2,5 years old (according to some opinions). Seeing him, the ruler “took pity” on the boy and said: “Let me throw a ring at the foot of the idol; you can bend down to pick it up, and everyone will think you bowed down…” The boy refused and was killed. His mother, who had endured all these deaths before her very eyes, climbed onto the roof and threw herself down, taking her own life. A bat kol rang out and said (Psalms 113:9): “He turns the childless woman who sits at home into a mother who rejoices in her children.” Are we people who seek death? Does a Jewish mother rejoice when her children are killed, even for the honor of the Almighty?
Drawing on the Maharal's explanation, I want to say the following. When the Greeks offered her children death or a pile of money (if they bowed down to an idol), she did not have to whisper to them: “Refuse!” They knew for themselves what to answer. How? Because they remembered that in another life, before the Greek prohibitions, they had seen their mother at home… joyful. Fulfilling the mitzvot with joy, preparing for Shabbat with joy. “There is no temptation in the whole world that can eclipse that memory for us, Mom!”
Even when Mom is no longer by our side, we will follow the path she taught us, because we saw what it meant to her.
When my son Yosef Chai died, we were driving home from Hadassah Ein Kerem Hospital, and I asked the Almighty for only one thing, praying for it all the way: “L-rd, I want to walk into my home with a smile.” And when we arrived, I walked into the house with a smile. My children came up to me, kissed me, and I read in their eyes: “Something terrible has happened. But if Mom can still smile, everything will be all right.” Why did I make such a strange request of the Almighty? Because I had studied law. And now, in this way, I was giving my “client”—the Almighty, who was being accused of murder—the best possible representation before my children. And righteous Joseph was like that too. He did not want the Almighty to be blamed for his sorrows. Does the Almighty need my services as a lawyer?
The answer is very profound. When you tell Him, “You are good, You are good,” He commits Himself to being good. Only in the Holy Tongue do we call G-d “Hashem,” the Name. The Almighty says: I will treat you according to the name you give Me. If you call Me Good, you will have reason to thank Me. “Good is Your Name, and it is fitting to thank You.” I call Him Good, no matter what. My children see me smiling—and understand that Mom does not blame the Almighty; quite the opposite.
Goodness and Truth
Another of His Names is Emet, truth. “G-d is close to those who call upon Him, to everyone who calls upon Him in truth (be-emet).” Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai was walking with his disciples to pray in the Temple and, along the way, saw… a corpse. He told his disciples he would determine what this unfortunate man had died of. He listened closely and said: “He died because he did not say ‘emet’ 8 times today.” Before the “Shemoneh Esrei” prayer, a person repeats 8 times the word emet in “Emet Veyatziv” (nusach Sefardim and Edot HaMizrach). Rabbi Natan says that these 8 repetitions are like the 8 days of Hanukkah. Amazing! Let us explain it step by step.
Before beginning the Amidah and our requests to the Almighty, we must tell ourselves 8 times: “It is true, You are the Almighty G-d of the world and our King; it is true, You are our G-d and the G-d of our ancestors; it is true, wonderful is the lot of the person who will heed Your commandments; it is true, You brought us out of Egypt and redeemed us from the house of bondage…”
Because we remind ourselves 8 times that He is good to us, this (measure for measure) “obliges” Him to treat us with goodness.
The man who died was also on his way to pray in the Temple—to pray for healing. But he did not believe: “Will the Almighty really heal me as a result of my prayer?” He did not say 8 times (to himself!), “Emet!” And he did not convince himself.
Pharaoh had dreams. He did not believe any of the interpreters. He was given a host of explanations, but he was looking for someone who would steer reality toward the positive scenario that would give the dream a favorable interpretation! The Gemara tells a story on this subject. A frightened woman came to Rabbi Elazar ben Azaryah: “I had a bad dream: a ceiling beam in my house broke!” Rabbi Elazar replied: “Mazel tov! This year you will give birth to a son!” “Broke” is mashber (a stressful situation), and mashber means childbirth. And so it happened. Later, he went away, and she came again—with the same dream. His disciples volunteered to help her. “What did you dream?” “A ceiling beam in my house broke!” And they said: “Poor woman. Your husband will die.” She walked away crying. Rabbi Elazar returned and saw her. When he learned why she was crying, he scolded his disciples: “You have killed her husband!” (The Talmud says that the fulfillment of dreams follows their interpretation.)
This world is a dream. It must be interpreted correctly.
I tell women who are ill: “Machalah (illness) has the same letters as dreaming (chalimah). Dream! Do not count—not pills, not statistics, not probabilities! Counting and calculating are all Greek!” Bad dreams must be given a good interpretation, because afterward that good will become truth.
The word “Emet” appears eight times in “Emet Veyatziv.” Rabbi Natan says that these 8 repetitions are like the 8 days of Hanukkah. Why? Because every day we say “Al Hanissim,” “For the miracles,” repeating that He performed miracles for us. And assuring both Him and ourselves that He performs miracles for us. Then, on the eighth day, the L-rd will grant our requests and perform miracles.
But is emet (truth) always tov (goodness)?
The Almighty, whose seal is truth, gives goodness to His creation. Therefore, whatever does people good is truth, and the opposite is not truth at all. I attended the funeral of a rosh yeshiva who had offended, and thus wounded, many students, and heard one of the young men say: “I came here only to say: ‘I have forgiven him.’” And in his eulogy, the deceased man's son said: “I know that my father hurt many people, and I ask forgiveness on his behalf. He was simply a man of truth.” Do we need that kind of truth? Now I understand why, when someone dies, we say: “Baruch Dayan HaEmet,” Blessed is He who judges justly (who judges us for truth).
Before creating man, the Almighty consulted His attributes. Chesed (lovingkindness) said: create him, he will perform acts of kindness. But Emet (truth) said: do not create him, he is full of lies. Tzedek (justice) said: create him, he is full of righteous deeds. Shalom (peace) said: do not create him, he is full of conflicts. The Almighty took Emet and cast it to the ground, because truth was causing harm. He said: “Truth will spring from the earth.” This teaches us that for a human being's creation (and functioning), truth is not always the most important thing; sometimes goodness is more important.
On Mitzvot and Customs
The mitzvah of lighting candles must be performed with the whole body and soul. It is said: “One who regularly lights candles will merit sons who are Torah scholars” (haragil bener—yihyu lo banim talmidei chachamim). The gematria of the word haragil is the same as ramach (248), the number of organs in a man's body, while bener (252) is the number of organs in a woman's body—both a man and a woman must perform the mitzvah of lighting candles with their whole body!
Hanukkah is a beautiful holiday, full of light; you should adorn your home and yourself.
Hanukkah is the holiday of Aaron the Kohen, whose attribute is Hod (הוד); he had priestly garments. Adorn yourself—buy yourself a new dress! We need to create Jewish beauty in the home, setting it against Greek beauty. You need to be a joyful mother—em habanim semecha, even when things are hard, even when it hurts.
Yes, we all love feeling sorry for ourselves. I myself like to play the martyr, especially on Fridays. “I worked all week. Yesterday I came home late from a lecture; my husband had long been asleep! I'm so tired. No one helps me. And the children don't appreciate my hard work! Yet I just keep working and working.” Is feeling sorry for yourself such a pleasure?! No—it is a personal tragedy! Yet we love to wallow in it. But at least on Hanukkah, we need to become cheerful Jewish mothers.
Hanukkah is a holiday for the kindhearted. Do not forget to pray for your loved ones, for those in need of deliverance.
Prepared by Mrs. Zissi Skarzhinskaya